my loveys

Boys are back from their dads..Adiah told me that he didn't see his dad this weekend just his grandma and his grandma bought them bikes..which does not surprise me one bit.I don't understand why he doesn't just give up on the whole visitation's a waste of time..not like he actually wants to see them or even goes to his mom's house to get his vistation time in.I told G i wish he would just give it up and G( being the blunt asswhole he is) "amanda we both know he is not going to give it up. he likes being the reason your missing out" which is totally true.he knows how much the boys mean to me. Although from time to time I like having a break from it all..I don't like missing two whole weekends out of the month..we literally have to plan family trips around when we have to take the boys to the police station for their dad and grandma to pick them up.and then I have to hear from the boys how they didn't even see their dad..round of applause for father of the year.Idk i'm just ready for september 3 to be divorced and have this custody thing settled.

G is in the middle of court too. He is trying to get 50/50 custody of his daughter which stresses me out cuz I know i am going to be the one taking care of all 3 of them and honestly they are alot together.i mean ya there are times that they are good and play together and all that but becuase adiah and neveah are the oldest and think they are "in charge" they fight all the time. Like all the time. It makes me want to pull my hair out. G does not understand becuase they listen to him when he says something but he is never here. Which leaves me with the 3 of them..ya neveah is at school from 8-3 which I guess isn't to bad. The boys will be in school soon I guess it won't be too bad. Idk it's just like me having another kid and sometimes i feel like im not even ready for all that. Growing up I didn't want kids. I never even thought i'd have kids..don't get me wrong love my little monsters. But now that I have two I realize i know I don't need more anytime soon..I really hope G steps up alot if he does get custody cuz he leaves me to do everything and of course i do it becuase I love neveah like shes mine..but she does not listen to me, take me serious and she has a really bad attitude. I get that she is 6..but there is alot more to parenting then just playing around with them like G thinks..

Idk i guess only time will tell

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